Bullying.

Todays topic is going to be a bit different. Recently there has been a lot of news going around bullying. When I first heard this I was being inconsiderate and thought, "I will NEVER let that happen to me." I thought that people who were bullied made themselves the victims. Stupid, huh? I remember a few months ago I was talking to my sisters and the topic came up and I remember responding, "I was never bullied." Of course I believed this so badly. Last week I was reading the newspaper with my mother and we came across an article that was about a young boy, around the age go 10 or 12, who had committed suicide because he was being tormented in school. Right away after reading this my mother turned to me and said, "What ever happened to that girl who use to bother you?" I was so shocked with this question. I cannot believe I had blocked out those memories. In middle school there was a girl who did not like me because the boy that she liked, liked me, childish right? I remember her just being mean and I use to not like going to school because I knew I would see her face. One day during gym I had forgotten my locker and I just put my stuff in any locker thinking that no one would notice. Right after gym I went to the locker which had my belongings in it. I stood there in shock when I read the words on that locker. "Slut. Bitch. Stupid. Ugly." I never told anyone this before but at that moment I wanted to cry and be with my mother. I was with my friends and I remember just saying "wow, what losers did this?" and continued to get my stuff. Once I opened the locker I found all my notebooks and papers where just dumped there and someone had taken my book bag. Great. I remember having that lump in my throat holding back those tears. I didn't want to look weak in front of my friends. I was upset but one of my friends offered me a plastic bag to take my stuff home in. I remember being upset and not wanting to go to school because I didn't know who did it, but I had a feeling of a group of girls who didn't like me. I remember feeling as if middle school was never going to end. I recall not wanting to return to school but I never spoke up. Just when I had thought things had died down, I realized they had just began.

I never realized that I was being bullied, which is strange. One day I was on aim chatting with my best friend. Suddenly a random screen name messages me saying horrible things to me. I responded that they should show their face instead of telling me these things online. 

Soon enough I found girls hating me and I never really knew why. I know I wasn't the prettiest, skinniest, most charming person but I had never been a trader or talked about people. I guess I was just hated because of being me. I was on the cheerleading team and there were pictures of all the girls on the wall and mine had been scribbled on. 

Eventually I told my mother. She told me to not pay attention to them because they have nothing better to live for. With her support I kept going to school knowing that it would all be over soon. I still had friends eventually there were two groups the mean girls and the other people. I didn't think school was like this but it is and it's sad that no one pays attention. All the girls who I had once called my friends had all left my side. 

Being bullied isn't fun. It's hard actually. It's even harder when you have no one to talk to. I thank god for having an amazing family, especially my mother. She would ask me everyday how things where going and eventually it got better. It got better because of a few words she told me, "If you show them that you care they will think they are winning." I wasn't being mean but I did stand up for myself. When ever they said something mean I would say something like "wow you really must be interested in my life." 

This is part one, part 2 next week! stay tuned!!